christmas week

after a couple of long days of driving, we made it to iowa! the drive really wasn't that bad.  we took our time, stopped in random places we wanted to stop, and made it home in good time + the weather cooperated, which made the drive much more relaxing than what it could have been.  honestly, it was pretty fun to drive together and watch the scenery change as we moved across the states.  i love seeing the silos and old farmhouses start to pop up as you get closer to iowa.

for the first time, we are staying for longer than a week, which has made it a much more relaxing trip so far.  today, we literally sat around and did nothing all day long and didn't feel guilty about it for a second.  probably the best part about being home for me is getting to be apart of all the normal things i miss when i'm away.  one of my favorite parts of our vacation so far lasted for about 10 minutes when i watched hunter and couple of his friends saxophone carol down main street in ames. {the fact that they ended up on the local prime time news for it has nothing do with it, i swear!} i love getting to see and be apart of my younger brother and sister - and all of my cousins' - lives as they grow up, and the little things like getting to see my little brother go saxophone caroling makes me feel less far away from my iowa home.  the only thing that would make this trip better is if shea & chris were here to hang out too - come on guys, there's still a couple days for you to get here before christmas!

other highlights have included: sunday dinner, building the annual xmas village, eating eating eating of course {notice the picture of tanner's gigantuan iowan sized dinner courtesy of hickory park}, cafe diem with my mom and elizabeth, gossip girl gossip girl gossip girl {will chuck bass live or die???}, playing an intense game of scattergories, cat stories with dad, taking horribly ugly pics with madison & hunter on photobooth, making christmas cookies at gran & papa's {and seeing their new house}, and FINALLY finishing my christmas shopping for the year after several trips to target.

only two more days until christmas!! got to love this time of year.

prospect talk

tanner started an etsy shop {called prospect talk} for some design things very recently and had his first sale today - woo hoo!!  he is adding things little by little - but if you know anyone looking for unique and really cool wedding invitations, refer them to his shop!

the business is booming! me and tanner say that to each other jokingly when little business triumphs happen like today with his first sale (it all started with my very little business endeavor with eye lashes this summer).  but really, check it out and keep checking for new things to be added!

freedom fa la la la la!

i walked to my last final today convinced - convinced i tell you! - that i was going to tell the graduate coordinator that i was done with graduate school.  i imagined myself leaving the final feeling refreshed by the fact that i would never be a student again and moreover that i had actually made a decision.  instead, i walked out of the room with out saying a word to the coordinator and went back to my circular thought process.

should i finish my master's program?  well what i do if i weren't in school next semester? what if i regret this decision for the rest of my life? {especially when i have to go back to waitressing when i'm 40}  well what if what if what if what if what if WHAT IF???

and then my stomach curled around itself in knots like it has since july.  {no seriously, i have been having this conversation with myself - and probably you too - since july!} 

 i have questioned my decision to pursue a master's degree in english everyday

i have spent hours agonizing over my options

 i have lost confidence in my ability to make the right decision or any decision for that matter

and because i have spent so much time thinking about all of the ins and outs of this decision, i am now to a point where i really don't know what i think or feel anymore, which leaves me feeling... unsure. 

but i do know i want to love and feel inspired by what i'm doing. and i do know that i don't want to get a master's degree just for the sake of getting a master's degree.  what has kept me going is the flexible part-time option of teaching at a college that a master's degree will actually provide, but sometimes i'm unsure if that's enough of a reason to continue. {insert irrational fears here} in my mind, people who go to graduate school are either totally passionate about what they're going to school for or know that by going to graduate school they will be able to move from point A to point B.  in my mind, people who go to graduate school are not supposed to do the bare minimum simply to survive for two years while dreading their next semester's classes.  and after all this, even though i feel unsure about school, i feel equally unsure {if not more unsure} about what i would do if i weren't in school, which maybe wouldn't be such a bad thing after all.  

through all of this, i have learned that i'm not passionate about much besides tanner, my family and my friends - and maybe mexican tacos, reeses peanut butter cups, and virgil's bottled blackberry soda - and maybe one other entrepreneur idea i have floating around in my head - but really, at this point right this second, i don't see any master degree or career making or breaking my current or future happiness, because i already have everything i truly care about.  which technically should be comforting?  

so wish me luck on making a decision asap.  oh big life decisions, growing up is not so fun to do sometimes. 

but what is fun is the fact that i have 2+ weeks to do absolutely nothing but enjoy family, christmas trees, and treats.  did i mention we're leaving for iowa really soon?

and because this post was so long and wordy and not fun, here's a picture of us hanging out tonight on the first official night of winter break.

i'm watching 30 rock and blogging and tanner is really close to falling asleep on the couch.  i take back part of what i said before - this part of growing up is the life.

it's beginning to smell and look like christmas

today i got home from teaching my class, turned on sufjan steven's christmas album, and peeled a clementine. the clementine smelled so strong, it was the first time it really felt like christmas to me even though we decorated our christmas tree and house for christmas last weekend.  looking through some of my pictures i've taken recently, it's beginning to look like christmas around our house too.

christmas kiss cookies - check

decorating christmas trees - check

favorite ornaments - check

snow - check (well sort of...)

christmas lights - check

clementines - check check check!

now if i could only get through the rest of this week (it's the absolute worst to be a student this time of year) and i will be feeling full-blown in the christmas spirit!  

oh and did i mention we got another nephew last week? steven ramsey facer. we love you already. that's the 4th capua baby this year - 4th!  it's a good thing there are so many babies around for us to hold and hang out with otherwise we might start wanting one of our own.

life according to instagram

tanner entered the iPhone world!

first iPhone pic

fall leaves preparing for christmas

too lazy to plug in my laptop charger

me & esther

rocco wearing giant scuba fins

the highlight of our weekend was saturday when tanner and i got to relive our "falling in love moments" - working together at a restaurant of course!  tanner bussed tables saturday night while i served tables.  it's funny because when we were working at pizza factory, we both could only dream of a life that did not include pizza factory.  but i can't lie, after saturday night, i kinda miss those days.

my hair crisis is over (temporarily)

i've had short hair, really short hair, medium length hair, long hair, hair with a cowlick, hair with a shaved cowlick, hair with a medium cowlick, bangs, and no bangs.  i've gone darker, but i've never gone lighter, until today when i got a melt.  and i'm happy to say it's here to say - it's just what i needed to change things up this time of year.  you may not be able to tell from the picture too well, but my hair gets lighter toward the ends and i am loving it.  you should probably get one too.

and here are some pictures of tanner for good measure

and this is what tanner decided to do with his pictures...enjoy

oh yeah, and next time i'm thinking about growing out my cowlick, please remind me what a terrible idea that it is. 

the longest of long days

yesterday was one of those days where by the end of it, i couldn't believe the morning i woke up to was part of the same night i was going to bed in.  does that even make sense?  you know, those nights where you're falling asleep, thinking about your day, and it hits you that the past 24 hours were really only 24 hours.  oh yes, that was yesterday.

6:30AM i'm waking up to my alarm and it's still pitch-black outside
7:30 i'm at school catching up on everything i'm behind on
4:15 i'm leaving school on my way to work
4:45 i make it to work 45 minutes late {i was supposed to be there at 4, but there was an overlap in my schedule}
11:00PM i'm leaving work probably because a table decided to sit there for an hour and a half after close {tipping manifesto and restaurant etiquette for utah county-ers coming soon because i swear i can't take it anymore!}

stealing from my friend claire's blog: all work and no play makes brighton a dull girl.  this is to-a-T how i felt yesterday.

i've thought a lot about blogging lately and i've decided i blog to magnify the seemingly small and insignificant things in my life, making them memorable and meaningful - to make all the small and wonderful moments in my life stand out as unique, attached to words and pictures - to make mountains out of molehills in the best sense possible. ...but i'd be lying if i said i haven't had my fair share of "yesterday" kind of days where it's harder to pick out those moments worth remembering.  but then this morning, i remembered, that i am in control of how i react to things, even emotionally - and that i can choose happiness.

and so, i blog.  

and i feel relieved that's it's the weekend.  

and i feel grateful that i have the night off.  

and i look forward to tomorrow.  

and i get excited that tanner is on his way home right now.  

saturdays at our house

most of our saturdays are spent like this - even though it was perfectly perfect weather outside today, we could barely move from the couch.

and even though we love our lazy saturdays, we were excited erica & alex gave us something to do in the evening and a reason to get off the couch.  

we saw this idea at smith's to make a nose out of the stem and couldn't resist.  and good job tanner for making it turn out so well!  and of course, no pumpkin carving event can pass without me mentioning the time my brother threw up inside his pumpkin while wearing gloves only meant for snow using a big stirring spoon to dig out the pumpkin guts.  that will probably be my favorite halloween memory for a long time.  

i'm so excited the holiday season is upon us!

newlywed pics

a couple of weeks ago we found tanner's point and shoot nikon and what treasures we found on this camera!  we must have only used it a total of three times during our first year of marriage, and seeing how i missed blogging about our 2nd anniversary exactly 2 months ago today (woah! i didn't even plan that, i swear!) i thought i would share just a few of those photos.  although it really wasn't that long ago that we were "newlyweds," looking at these pictures brings back some fun and sweet memories.  and not to be cheesy or induce-vomiting out of anyone (shea in particular...) these really have been the best 2 {going on 3} years of my life.

i wish we had more photos from where these came from, but i'm happy we found the few that we did.  plus, that would mean more braces photos, which let's be honest, the fewer the better, right?  i also just realized that i've never shared any of our professional wedding photos ever - not on this blog, facebook, email or anywhere - so expect to be seeing some of those soon.

in other news, i am so happy today is friday, tomorrow is saturday, and the day after that is sunday.  happy weekend!

not such a good looker after all...

Today I carried these things with me to school:

a yellow notebook

a blue folder full 

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

a green environment reader

my "teacher" filer full of attendance sheets, lesson plans and things to be graded

a hairbrush for my slowly growing tangled hair

lipstick to offset my ever-pale-ing skin

a dongle cord (no really, that's what it's called, 

borrowed from erica&alex - i promise to return it someday soon!)

a USB cord

a scarf

and my wallet

....wait, did i just say my wallet?  well, while it may be obvious to you that my wallet is in my schoolbag, it was not so obvious to me this morning when i called tanner in a panic, my work in a panic, and almost my bank to cancel my debit card in panic.  to tell you the truth, i was in such a panic, i practically drove to the DMV to get a new license.  and there it was all along. phew!

but see the crammed space that all of this stuff was stuffed into?  you understand how i could have missed my wallet in there, right? {...tanner? ...right?}  if you haven't noticed, i lose things a lot.  and then i panic quick. and then i look for just one more second and i find the lost thing.  maybe i should start looking longer first?

food dishes and heat dishes

and yes i am one of those girls who blogs about food.  in fact, a couple of weekends ago when tanner and i were having one of our recently common "what should brighton do with her life" conversations, we decided i should do something with food since food seems to be my passion at least when i am eating.  anyway, tanner is officially a grown-up.  he is officially a 9-5er, officially a commuter {which i guess he has been that for a while now}, and he is officially for the first time ever not being paid hourly {go tanner!}  tonight, to celebrate his adultness, we went out to pizzeria 712, our very favorite place to eat in this whole world so far.  it may even be worth traveling all the way to utah for and definitely worth making the short trip to orem.

and of course i instagrammed {@britejoan}...and i do have to admit i'm feel a little bit like a social networking crazy person right now blogging my instagrammed photos all in one night...

it was the best mac&cheese, the best caprese and the best butternut squash pizza. is your mouth watering yet??

now we are back at home - i should be grading and planning for tomorrow, but instead i'm blogging and watching 30 rock on netflix in the glory of the heat dish on our couch.  and yes, it is unfortunately and fortunately that time of year again when the air in our house begins to cost $8 a day - thank you electric heating! but really, we love you heat dish.

iowa day 4: madison's birthday and the last of photos

are you sick of iowa yet?  well, i'll be brief.  sunday was madison's birthday - she's 19!  {what???? how did this happen??}  we were excited to be there to celebrate her actual birthday with her seeing how this rarely happens when you live 1200+ miles apart.  we went to church in the morning, test drove my neighbor's subaru into the middle of no where, ate my dad's annual sunday brunch as a family, went to mcfarland park for more food and hide-and-go seek in the prairie {i know, so iowa}( my family goes here for my little sister and grandmother's birthday every year - can you tell my family is tradition-oriented?), and jumped on a late flight back to utah.  we were sad to leave and very sad to land in near-winter weather, especially when we found ourselves lost in a gigantic parking lot looking for our car (literally).  farewell, iowa!  we will be looking forward to seeing you again in december!

here's more pictures, hope you enjoyed my quad-rilogy {is that even a word?}

one thing i love about iowa is that if you drive 5 or 10 minutes in literally any direction, you will be in the middle of nowhere